When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
