We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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