That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
