absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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