Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize