you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
