p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
