She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
