You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
