How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
