the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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