Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize