do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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