We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
