omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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