you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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