Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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