i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
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