My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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