That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
