Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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