He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
