Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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