Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
