when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
