no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
