Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
