We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
