I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
