Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
