FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
