plz talk dirty to me
are you so shy because you have an std?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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