**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
