I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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