Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize