'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
