Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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