hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
