Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
