So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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