I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
