**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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