yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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