when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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