the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I had to cum in my sink.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
