What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I was not drunk enough for that final.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
