Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
