Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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