What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
