is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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