I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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