You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
