Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
