12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
