He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
