well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
