After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
