The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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