hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
