ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
