wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
