There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
